week 4

Now I'm on a roll.

I look at food completely different. I don't lick my fingers when I make Trents peanut butter eggo in the morning. Or when I bake granola bars to take to work. I swear I have baked/cooked more during this diet than I have. And I have no urge to eat what I make.

I realize that I do alot of things out of habit. Lick your fingers. Lick the spoon. Eat the last bite of Trent's sandwich. Eat because you are bored.

I haven't felt hunger in 3 weeks. Week 1 I did have some hunger pangs.
But I'm not hungry anymore. Food is not appealing as it once was.

I realize that I used to eat things that my body didn't need, so I ate because I wanted it, not because I needed it.

3rd week ...

now I'm into it.

I'm noticing differences in my clothes, in my face - the fat from my forehead is gone and left some wrinkles for proof. I'm ok with that, I know that it will all fill out and look great. My chin is thinner and I can see that my mid section is shrinking.

I had no 'goal' weight. I've always had a pretty good self image even when at my heaviest. Like in my head, I don't see me as fat as I really am. I really do love this about myself. So now that I'm losing, it's hard for me to picture me as I am in the mirror - in my head.

I was considering a breast reduction. I'm 99.9% sure I'm done with babies, and since they won't be needed any longer to breast feed - I would be thrilled to lose some of the girls. In speaking with people who have done this, I was told that you should lose weight before the surgery. As opposed to after.

Ok fine. So there's a goal. So what is my "ideal" weight? 127 lbs.
Are you flipping kidding me? I think I weighed that in 4th grade.
And that's a huge number to get into my head to achieve.

2nd week...

...a bit easier but still an adjustment.

Have to admit that I felt better. Food was easier for me and I was getting into a routine.

I am the only person who is on birth control - and doing this diet - out of the people that I know. I started spotting a WEEK before my period was due. I get my friend on Wed. and she came a whole week early. And she stayed for 9 days. She usually is here for 3. I am quite sure that the hormones somehow screwed up my period, but I was frustrated.

I only lost 3 lbs this week, but noticed that my body was getting smaller in places. I contribute the smaller loss to my 'friend' being here for an extended visit.

first week...

...was hard! I won't lie!

The whole diet is different. Your food choices are things I liked, but didn't eat every day. Very strict as far as what you can eat and not eat.

No oil, fat, butter, peanut butter, condiments.
No eyeliner, hand lotion, chap stick, moisturizers.
No milk in my coffee. No Splenda. No diet soda.

Exceptions were made when my lips were bleeding or my hands were cracking, but I bought different things that I had used previously - because any fat you put on your body - it will use for fuel. I want it to be eating MY fuel (my fat) so I avoided it.

I was exhausted. I wanted to eat foods that I had been eating. I missed eating the salads that Mark and I had been eating, that he was still eating.

I had noooo energy. I usually spring out bed in the morning and found myself dragging. My muscles ached. I wondered if I could do this diet, if this is how I would feel for a month.

On Friday of the first week I realized that I had lost 7 lbs. in that week.
That was inspiration enough to get up and continue to week 2.

diet!

Let me say that my boss was very conservative to this diet, as am I.

Other people do the diet and added things in, or changed things - from what they were written in the manuscript. Let's be honest - there is alot of information on the internet and I'm not sure that all of it is verified and frankly - I'm working hard here, and not going to do something because someone I don't know told me I could.

I realized when researching the diet - if I didn't give it 100%, how would I know I got 100% results? Therefore I am very conservative on the diet and will not be swayed. Besides, I know that I am worth every ounce of effort that I am putting into this.

From January 19th to February 25th (today) I have lost 22.5 lbs.
I don't exercise. I am not hungry. I don't crave food. I'm losing all over my body.

It is simply amazing - what my body is doing for me.

'loading days' - are you serious?

Saturday January 17th, 2009

I get the HCG 'juice' as I call it, from my boss. She mixes it for me and I'm ready to go. Some people do injections of the hormone, but we do it under our tongues for quicker absorption than just swallowing it. We hold it there for 10 minutes and then swallow.

I find that it makes me slobber. Alot. I tell her about this and she laughs because she can remember that happening for the first few times. It doesn't taste bad, but it doesn't taste good. I can do this.

The first two days of the HCG - are your 'loading days'. As in - you eat everything that you can shove down your throat. It is necessary to eat very high fat foods, to plump up your fat cells. They say you have better success if you do this, and of course I'm game.

I go to the grocery store and I'm hell bent that I'm going to eat everything that I can, because I won't be able to for 4 weeks at least. It's hard to look for things that you really shouldn't have, when you have been eating somewhat healthy in the first place.

I got some quiche from work, BBQ fritos with cream cheese to dip into with, combos (2 bags), taco roll up thingsy that I dip into sour cream, a huge sub that I was going to slather with tons of mayo - you get the picture.

You are supposed to eat and eat and eat and eat ... and it sounds fun - but it's really not and it's certainly not easy.

The 2nd day we went to McDonalds and I had a club chicken sandwich with a super sized fry and tons of ranch to dip into - went home and thought I was going to die. I simply had not been eating these foods and my stomach was wondering what the heck was going on.

I weighed in on Monday - January 19th and was 3 lbs heavier than I was on Saturday morning before the binge began. Holy cow. Oh and did I mention that I felt like garbage? - actually like what I had eaten all weekend. Yuck.

HCG?

I am very lucky to have a great friend and boss who is very against drugs and modern medicine. Her husband is a chiropractor and they do everything that they can naturally. I have learned so much from this lady and this journey is no exception.

My boss' sister had done this diet and gave the information to her to read. She researched, asked questions and discussed this for awhile before deciding to try it.

I watched her eat very little and hear her tell me that she wasn't hungry but I am not sure I truly believed her. She made alot of changes in her life to accomodate this diet. I wasn't sure I was ready to commit to all that she had. But when she started losing, I was paying attention.

She started this diet last fall and stopped over the holidays. She lost a lb while away with her family, eating in moderation - everything that she wanted. She didn't not eat on purpose, she enjoyed her trip and all that the holidays had to offer.

To date she's lost 82 lbs. She has gone from a size 24 to a 10.

I'm amazed by her. And ready.

She is my cheerleader and we love to talk about the diet, the changes that have happened to our bodies, and our lives because of it. The way we look at food now compared to then - and we stay excited. It helps to have someone who is positive. Because many aren't.

I've learned to not tell people what I'm doing because I get the 'you are crazy' look as soon as I say HCG. So now I tell people to read the information and if they want to talk about it or ask questions - I'm excited to do that. But its alot of information - and frankly I'm not going to just waste my energy if someone isn't serious.

So she was and is my inspiration - and maybe I will be someone else's!